Angelic Paranoia

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The jokes they cut from The Now Show

I was really surprised at the things they cut. Since I’ve just listened to it and it’s fresh in my mind, here are the ones I remember: (if you haven’t heard it and don’t want to know the jokes, look away now)

They did a piece about credit ratings being like A level grades. They joked about France getting AAB and Greece getting FFF. Then on the broadcast version they stopped there. In the recording they continued with Germany getting AAA. They asked what Angela was going to do with AAAs. She said that since she she’d got AAA and was pretty, she was going to be photographed for the front page of the Daily Telegraph.

Strangely, Mitch Benn’s song was very quiet in the studio. It sounded a lot louder in the broadcast.

For the punchline to one of the jokes (I’ve already forgotten what the joke was) Mitch Benn had to say “dot com”. He then pointed out that he had a degree. That part wasn’t scripted.

In the sat nav sketch, no one heard the last line by the sat nav, so they had to do a re-take. I can’t remember what the last line was, but it wasn’t in the broadcast.

John Finnemore did a bit about religion. When he talked about wanting to be a member of the Baroness Warsi fan club, he mentioned getting a badge. At the end of his piece Baroness Warsi said that she was getting quiet support. So John Finnemore suggested he could do quiet opposition, which consisted of a long letter, which I can’t remember the contents of.

John Holmes’ bit about the weather also included something about the complaints about the forecasts not being accurate. So the reason for telling us what the weather is doing and has been doing is so they can up their accuracy rate. There was a mention of Michael Fish failing to predict the hurricane. And a sketch about the Met Office predicting the weather by looking out of the window.

There was talk of cyclists and a mention of pedestrians also sharing the road with motorists. Which they said was a good idea until someone happened upon their ex-wife… (Pippa did a scream from the back of the stage, which I imagine would sound distant)

Then Punt & Dennis read out a lot more answers to what the United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland should be called if it didn’t include Scotland any more. “Poundland” was Hugh Dennis’s favourite. Steve Punt’s favourite was “Scotless Monster”. Someone said Shawaddywaddy, just to make Hugh Dennis read it out. There were loads of others I can’t remember, but mine was “The United Kingdom of England”.

On the other hand, the recording didn’t have the gongs or the “Always take the weather with you” piece of music.